A Day At The Spa

Two more days and I get pampered! You heard right, my wonderful and loving Husband bought me a spa gift certificate for our anniversary and I'm finally going to get to use it. I am entitled to one super special pedicure/manicure and even a fifty minute shoulder, back and neck massage! (Hubby made me promise that I will not ask him for a massage that day :) I don't even know what to do in these sort of places... I know they must see all kinds but I keep looking at my feet in disgust! My toenails have specks of bright pink nail polish that I originally put on my feet like two months ago! I never, ever push back the cuticles on my fingernails never mind my toenails. My pinky toe is so absolutely tiny I don't even know if it's worth painting! Sometimes I think that I just dot a little nail polish onto my actual toe to give the illusion of something being there. I have calluses. I have rough spots. I have dry skin. I've been trying to grow my fingernails for the last two months so I could have longer painted nails! No success. Instead my nails, each and everyone of them, have broken off at some point. Now they are short and there's not much I can do about that! Anyway I suppose I am just a regular person, not everyone in the entire world has perfectly kept up extensions of their hands and feet! Extra luck to the person that has to make my nails look extra special.

The Tie That Binds

It's not always as easy as 1-2-3. As I grow older I start to understand family dynamics a bit better. What seemed so straightforward when I was five or ten or even sixteen, no longer seems to apply today. I am sad to report that my unusually optimistic view of the future has somewhat depleted. I feel like things that were or are to be said or done will be beyond repair. No, I do not hold resentment but I feel as though the tie that binds is a thin one. I pray that this tie will not be split in two and shatter all that I've known and loved. If we can just get past this...

Breathing Easy

So I am happy to report that the gastroscopy is done and over with and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be! Other than the extreme tiredness and grogginess (and the accusations from Hubby that my pupils were dilated!), it was a lot better than certain other procedures that I've had done in the past... *ahem* colonoscopies. I would have another ten gastroscopies before I would have one single colonoscopy! It always helps when the camera goes down a more acceptable place rather than up a less desirable one! So when it's all said and done, I'm a happy camper.

Stress

So tomorrow is the day. The day that I will be having a camera shoved down my throat to see if if I have an ulcer or if I have another stomach problem that they can't see on a regular x-ray. I am NOT looking forward to this. My Hubby's grandmother tells me it's nothing... I don't believe her. I saw my grandmother yesterday and she has to get a gastroscopy done because she's having stomach problems and she asked me if I knew if it was painful or anything like that. I couldn't look into her hopeful eyes and tell her otherwise so I told her the truth... "Scott's grandma told me it's nothing!" I believe that's called blame displacement or something! If it ends up being a horrible, terrible, painful experience than at least I didn't say it was nothing! I know that's low. At least they give you sedatives to get through the very traumatic experience but then they warn you that you may not be able to walk afterwards! How is my very skinny Hubby going to support me going home? This shall prove to be quite the interesting experience.

Remembering on Saturday

I got to see my "Nanny" today and I am happy to report that she's doing well! It's hard to see her in a nursing home since it means that I have to admit that she's getting older and not too slowly may I add. However I am really glad that she has the help that she needs since that was a definite source of worry. The nursing home itself seems to be nice (the grounds are gorgeous!) and the staff's extremely helpful and warm. I know that it won't feel like home for a while but it's got to be a close second when she's not self-sufficient anymore.

While I was at the nursing home I got some of my Nanny's past history; the story of how our family came to Canada and other great tidbits of information from her past. I'm really thinking about writing some sort of book or something. It feels really good to know more and more about my heritage. There may be more stories to follow...

So Very Tired...

A day without a nap is like a day without a sense of normalcy. From start to finish today was a spiral of ups and downs, crazy outbursts and severe mood swings! At about 9:30AM Hubby sent Bulldozer for his morning nap. Not even twenty minutes later while Hubby was outside hosing down Dexter's cage (he's our resident rodent, the "invited" one) and I of course had to be on the phone dealing with customer service personnel, he came out of his room bawling. I frantically called Hubby back upstairs and finished off my conversation about fifteen minutes later to a still awake child. He did not want to go for his nap. He pulled the potty card and managed to waste a whole bunch of time by sitting on his potty so he wouldn't have to go for his nap. Finally at 11AM I told Hubby that it was pointless to send him to bed since we were leaving in an hour to go to the Montreal Jazz Festival. So no nap it was. Then as we were leaving the house I told Bulldozer that if he wanted to enjoy a day out then he'd have to do a "sleepies" in the stroller. "Yes!" he replied. Ya right. In all fairness he did eventually fall asleep (pretty much when we got to the Festival) but he only stayed asleep for half an hour! Then he was up, peppy and ready to go. What's the problem with that you ask? Well his good natured attitude wore off and come the end of the day, he was filled with the venom of a child who had not slept! On the bus ride home he did not amuse us with screeches, spitting, scrunchy noses and just plain ole' not listening to his parents techniques. To make matters worse we didn't get him to bed until 9PM! No that's a day. A hot shower, a Hubby massage and then all I want to do is sleep.

My heart dropped out of my chest last night and I didn't have the energy left to talk about it. Hubby and I were watching "So You Think You Can Dance" and right at the end of the show there was a huge crash and bang. Hubby flew from the couch before I could even react... I followed a few steps behind him. All I could think was that something fell on Bulldozer and he wasn't even crying in protest. By the time I reached the door Hubby had thrown on the lights in Bulldozer's room and was in the process of going to check on the Wee Little One. I felt sick to my stomach. All I could think about was the crib and maybe it had collapsed... Thank god no one was hurt and everything was okay. Surprisingly even though Hubby had said that Bulldozer had opened his eyes when he turned on the lights, he must have done so and promptly went back to bed! When I peeked my head in he was fast asleep so I turned off the lights and closed the door. The Wee Little One didn't wake up from all the commotion either. There was something about the crash that left both Hubby and I drained of all emotion; left feeling raw and empty. We had a good cry and then headed off to bed.

Oh by the way it was a big plastic frog that holds Bulldozer's bath toys that had fallen off the wall.